Most women contemplating breast enlargement surgery are unaware of the risks involved. The risks should be pointed out in the initial consultation with the surgeon so you can make an informed decision. Some women might not even be told about certain risks in the consultation because awareness could increase doubt and act as a deterrent to have surgery. Since a private surgeon is in business for profit, and being in a poorly regulated industry, the information provided to the client about the risks might be feeble or in small print.
Breast implant surgery is very tempting to most women as a temporary instant solution to their breast size worries without much regard for the future. However, it is never a permanent solution, as always at least two operations must be prepared for, one for insertion, and one for removal some time in the future.
The implant will always need to be replaced or removed some time in the future either through deterioration or from rupture and leakage. A hard forceful implact to the breast area, wear and tear over time, or mishandling by incompetent surgeons during operation all can cause a rupture and leakage, in which case, the implants will need to be removed.
When an implant ruptures and leaks, your breasts will become misaligned and misshaped resulting in an asymmetrical appearance, causing your breasts to look worse than they did before the operation. In such a scenario undesirable wrinkling, rippling and folding skin becomes much more apparent causing further distress to the woman. After removal of implants, skin fold and rippling worsens more and would require further cosmetic procedure to tighten and smooth it again.
Other symptoms of breast implant surgery such as bruising, swelling and scarring are unavoidable. Some women who do not respond well to the foreign material in their body become infected and experience inflammation and itching around the surgical area.
Other problems such as interference with ability to breast feed, and loss of sensation and pain around the nipples are are frequent common symptoms of breast implant surgery.
It is estimated that up to 40 percent of patients suffer at least one serious complication requiring additional surgery within 3 years of the operation. A rupture and leakage can occur just weeks after the operation but generally the risk of it increases with time and should be expected with a higher possibility for each passing year.
Due to these potential risks many women now opt for safer non surgical breast enlargement
To make an informed choice be aware of the risks involved with breast implant surgery. For further information on breast implant surgery and knowing the alternative safer non surgical methods of enlarging and enhancing breast size and shape. tell me more about safer non surgical breast enlargement
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Charles_Moon
mardi 8 mars 2011
How To Put On Fake Nails!
The art of putting on fake nails is very simple. You can put them on in a few easy steps and make them look beautiful. Fake nails as well as acrylic nails and gel nails can be applied from the comfort of your own home. When properly applied they will look amazing. Applying your own saves time and money and after a while you will become so good at it that they will look professional.
The first step is going to the local dollar store or beauty supply store and picking out your favorite fake nails. They come in different styles and lengths. You can find them pre painted or you can apply the nail polish yourself after you put them on. You will need a bottle of nail glue. The best part about the nail glue is that is usually already comes with your set of fake nails. Make sure you purchase the right size nails. You can check the size by placing them against your own. They should cover yours completely but never hang over the side.
Now that you have your fake nails picked out and all your products in place, it is time to put them on. You have to apply a tiny bead of the glue on the center of your nail. Once you have the bead of glue on your finger nail you have to spread it out. The most important thing to remember about the glue is that you don't want to over glue. If you over glue you will know because it will be coming out the sides and on your skin.
You are now ready to put them on. Grab the tip of the fake nail and place it over your finger nail. When you put it on try to get as close as possible to your cuticle. Please do not go under the cuticle and don't touch the cuticle with the fake nail. You can just repeat the steps at this point for the rest of your nails. After all the nails have been applied you can buff or file them to your own preference. If you bought them unpainted you can now paint them. You should now look and feel great!
In addition, you can find easy to use, helpful information about acrylic nails and fake nails at Hollywood Acrylic Nails. It is a site dedicated to helping everyone with pictures and tips on acrylic nails. Learn more about acrylic nails today!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Vee
The first step is going to the local dollar store or beauty supply store and picking out your favorite fake nails. They come in different styles and lengths. You can find them pre painted or you can apply the nail polish yourself after you put them on. You will need a bottle of nail glue. The best part about the nail glue is that is usually already comes with your set of fake nails. Make sure you purchase the right size nails. You can check the size by placing them against your own. They should cover yours completely but never hang over the side.
Now that you have your fake nails picked out and all your products in place, it is time to put them on. You have to apply a tiny bead of the glue on the center of your nail. Once you have the bead of glue on your finger nail you have to spread it out. The most important thing to remember about the glue is that you don't want to over glue. If you over glue you will know because it will be coming out the sides and on your skin.
You are now ready to put them on. Grab the tip of the fake nail and place it over your finger nail. When you put it on try to get as close as possible to your cuticle. Please do not go under the cuticle and don't touch the cuticle with the fake nail. You can just repeat the steps at this point for the rest of your nails. After all the nails have been applied you can buff or file them to your own preference. If you bought them unpainted you can now paint them. You should now look and feel great!
In addition, you can find easy to use, helpful information about acrylic nails and fake nails at Hollywood Acrylic Nails. It is a site dedicated to helping everyone with pictures and tips on acrylic nails. Learn more about acrylic nails today!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Vee
What Colors Should I Wear for an Intuitive Effect?
For an intuitive effect you need to lean towards a feeling of the immediate, or the unexplainable "gut feeling." You need a sense of lightness, energy, and freedom.
Hues that convey this feeling will be intense rather than dull, warm rather than cool, and mid-to-light value rather than dark.
The majority of the colors to draw from are those that produce metabolic arousal like bright red, orange and yellow. These will not be hues at their most intense. They will be a little lighter than vivid hues for a fresher, tempered look.
On the other hand, you need to avoid cool colors such as blue and purple because they calm the arousal. They evoke feelings of restfulness, meditation and contemplation--just the opposite of what you are after.
Particular combinations of hues can heighten a sense of intuitive immediacy. To begin with, the colors need to appear like they were selected without much thought.
You can accomplish this look by combining two or three of these bright analogous colors in an outfit, or fabric. Choose a seemingly unrelated color to the mix and your selection will seem all the more unplanned, or intuitive. Rather than select just any unrelated color, it would be better to select a color that is a complement, or almost a complement to the base colors. This color will be the only cool one in the mix.
Gestural freedom within the colors of the fabric design will aid the effect of intuition and immediacy. It helps if the design looks like it was created without planning.
There should be plenty of acceptable colors within your own skin-tone-matching personal color palette for selections to create an Intuitive Effect. You will want to use your own best colors for good results.
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jan_Hawken
Hues that convey this feeling will be intense rather than dull, warm rather than cool, and mid-to-light value rather than dark.
The majority of the colors to draw from are those that produce metabolic arousal like bright red, orange and yellow. These will not be hues at their most intense. They will be a little lighter than vivid hues for a fresher, tempered look.
On the other hand, you need to avoid cool colors such as blue and purple because they calm the arousal. They evoke feelings of restfulness, meditation and contemplation--just the opposite of what you are after.
Particular combinations of hues can heighten a sense of intuitive immediacy. To begin with, the colors need to appear like they were selected without much thought.
You can accomplish this look by combining two or three of these bright analogous colors in an outfit, or fabric. Choose a seemingly unrelated color to the mix and your selection will seem all the more unplanned, or intuitive. Rather than select just any unrelated color, it would be better to select a color that is a complement, or almost a complement to the base colors. This color will be the only cool one in the mix.
Gestural freedom within the colors of the fabric design will aid the effect of intuition and immediacy. It helps if the design looks like it was created without planning.
There should be plenty of acceptable colors within your own skin-tone-matching personal color palette for selections to create an Intuitive Effect. You will want to use your own best colors for good results.
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jan_Hawken
Communication in Marriage Is Key
Communication in General
All living creatures communicate in some form or another. It has also become patently evident that communication takes place because it is a vital component of survival. Birds don't tweet, squeak and squawk just to pass the time of day, and in humans' communication is just as vital as a survival technique. Even when we have a coffee morning with the girls and the conversation goes - "OMG, I'll just die if I can't get that pair of red Jimmy Choo's!" Looking at communication at a baser level, it is still a matter of survival - life or death in this case.
Respect
Good communication in marriage as in all things is key; there are also various aspects to communication and it is important to note that respectful communication avoids disrespectful judgment - something that many marriages may fall prey to. Criticizing, berating, intimidating or sarcastic responses, even body language such as eye-rolling; these are disrespectful communication responses. While humor has its place in a marriage as in all aspects of life, continual "taking the Mickey" can also be disrespectful. Having a bit of fun at the expense of a spouse has its own time and place.
Quantitative Communication
Communication can be measured and good or meaningful communication takes place in the average household for approximately 15 minutes a week. This measurement needs to improve. Couples who work to improve qualitative and quantitative communication do this every opportunity they get. This means multi-tasking to a degree and taking every possible opportunity to make conversation meaningful. Driving in the car, at the dinner table including the children, taking a walk, working around the house, before bed, in bed, there are many opportunities. The point is to remember to take advantage of these opportunities so that the measure of meaningful communication increases.
Good Communication - Listening
In marriage, again as in all things, communication is a two-way street, talking at someone is not communication. The ability to listen well is a part of this two-way street and this means engaging in positive body language: Good eye contact, positive facial interaction and basically just good manners while a spouse is saying their piece. A spouse who dominates the conversation is engaging in bad communication; both should be offered the chance to say their piece and be attentively heard. Constant interruptions are not OK, because this is essentially a refusal to listen - impinge will upon the other partner and it will break down trust. Asking questions is fine to fully grasp a point, in fact this is advisable - once again questions need to be raised in an appropriately respectful manner.
Honesty
Honest communication instills trust; one spouse who lies to the other is playing with fire as the consequences of being found out are fodder to feed long-term consequences. Honesty means not avoiding any issue that a spouse would want to, and has the right to know. An act of omission is perceived to be as serious as an act of commission in terms of honesty. The aim is not to be cruel by being honest and hurting a spouse, so, as always respect in honesty also applies.
Trust is established with good respectful communication; trust has the ability to cast away all fears and suspicion and makes for a happy life. Without trust there is very little faith in a relationship at the very real risk of unhappiness.
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr_Wendy_Schwartz
All living creatures communicate in some form or another. It has also become patently evident that communication takes place because it is a vital component of survival. Birds don't tweet, squeak and squawk just to pass the time of day, and in humans' communication is just as vital as a survival technique. Even when we have a coffee morning with the girls and the conversation goes - "OMG, I'll just die if I can't get that pair of red Jimmy Choo's!" Looking at communication at a baser level, it is still a matter of survival - life or death in this case.
Respect
Good communication in marriage as in all things is key; there are also various aspects to communication and it is important to note that respectful communication avoids disrespectful judgment - something that many marriages may fall prey to. Criticizing, berating, intimidating or sarcastic responses, even body language such as eye-rolling; these are disrespectful communication responses. While humor has its place in a marriage as in all aspects of life, continual "taking the Mickey" can also be disrespectful. Having a bit of fun at the expense of a spouse has its own time and place.
Quantitative Communication
Communication can be measured and good or meaningful communication takes place in the average household for approximately 15 minutes a week. This measurement needs to improve. Couples who work to improve qualitative and quantitative communication do this every opportunity they get. This means multi-tasking to a degree and taking every possible opportunity to make conversation meaningful. Driving in the car, at the dinner table including the children, taking a walk, working around the house, before bed, in bed, there are many opportunities. The point is to remember to take advantage of these opportunities so that the measure of meaningful communication increases.
Good Communication - Listening
In marriage, again as in all things, communication is a two-way street, talking at someone is not communication. The ability to listen well is a part of this two-way street and this means engaging in positive body language: Good eye contact, positive facial interaction and basically just good manners while a spouse is saying their piece. A spouse who dominates the conversation is engaging in bad communication; both should be offered the chance to say their piece and be attentively heard. Constant interruptions are not OK, because this is essentially a refusal to listen - impinge will upon the other partner and it will break down trust. Asking questions is fine to fully grasp a point, in fact this is advisable - once again questions need to be raised in an appropriately respectful manner.
Honesty
Honest communication instills trust; one spouse who lies to the other is playing with fire as the consequences of being found out are fodder to feed long-term consequences. Honesty means not avoiding any issue that a spouse would want to, and has the right to know. An act of omission is perceived to be as serious as an act of commission in terms of honesty. The aim is not to be cruel by being honest and hurting a spouse, so, as always respect in honesty also applies.
Trust is established with good respectful communication; trust has the ability to cast away all fears and suspicion and makes for a happy life. Without trust there is very little faith in a relationship at the very real risk of unhappiness.
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr_Wendy_Schwartz
How to Make a Man Curious - 7 Ways in Which to Wet His Curiosity and Imagination!
You know that he likes you but you are not satisfied with knowing that. What you really want is to make him very curious about you so that he begins to want you desperately and pursues you like never before! These seven tips will help you to whet his curiosity and fire his imagination in such a way that he will be drawn to you.
Drop out of sight once you know he is interested in you
No matter how difficult this is going to be to carry out, it is important! Once you know he likes you and you find him displaying all the signs and symptoms of a guy totally smitten by your charms, disappear from the scene for a short while. This will make him go crazy wondering where you have gone off to! He will burn with curiosity. Use this time to look sensational and prepare for a great come back!
Be an uptown girl
All you have to do is invite all your friends. Make sure that your party becomes the "talk of the town". While becoming excited about being invited, he will also wonder about the whole "do" and become curious as to who is invited. This will not only make him extremely envious and jealous that he is not included and will want to do this best to secure an invitation.
Pretend that you are not really available
Even while you subtly let him know that you are attracted to him, make sure that you keep your distance. This will make him wonder if he has a chance with you or not. If you engineer being seen with a really "hot" guy it will make him curious and even jealous. He will do his best to chase you and get to know more about you.
Get your best friend to call you when he is around
Receiving calls when he is around will make him curious as to who the caller is if he is interested in you. He will hate the sight of you "cooing" and whispering on the phone. This will make him wonder if you have a boyfriend and whether he is too late! Talk animatedly to your friend and make sure you have a dreamy expression on your face!
Get that close friend to send you a bouquet of flowers
Nothing will make him more curious than seeing you receive a gift or some flowers! Red roses will make him jealous and curious as to who your admirer is! This is bound to catch his attention and make him long to know if you are already taken.
Don't answer all his calls
Even while you make sure that you motivate him enough to keep pursuing you, make sure that you don't give in too easily. If you want him to become curious about you, keep him hanging and waiting for definite answers. Pretend to be busy, don't answer all his calls and be sweet but keep him at arm's length. This sort of behavior will excite his curiosity and make him even more determined to find out all he can about you.
Have a lot of exciting things to do
Just when he thinks he has you all figured out - show him a new side of your personality. Become like a diamond and display a new facet of your personality that stuns him. This will excite him and make him want to know you intimately.
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Krista_Hiles
Drop out of sight once you know he is interested in you
No matter how difficult this is going to be to carry out, it is important! Once you know he likes you and you find him displaying all the signs and symptoms of a guy totally smitten by your charms, disappear from the scene for a short while. This will make him go crazy wondering where you have gone off to! He will burn with curiosity. Use this time to look sensational and prepare for a great come back!
Be an uptown girl
All you have to do is invite all your friends. Make sure that your party becomes the "talk of the town". While becoming excited about being invited, he will also wonder about the whole "do" and become curious as to who is invited. This will not only make him extremely envious and jealous that he is not included and will want to do this best to secure an invitation.
Pretend that you are not really available
Even while you subtly let him know that you are attracted to him, make sure that you keep your distance. This will make him wonder if he has a chance with you or not. If you engineer being seen with a really "hot" guy it will make him curious and even jealous. He will do his best to chase you and get to know more about you.
Get your best friend to call you when he is around
Receiving calls when he is around will make him curious as to who the caller is if he is interested in you. He will hate the sight of you "cooing" and whispering on the phone. This will make him wonder if you have a boyfriend and whether he is too late! Talk animatedly to your friend and make sure you have a dreamy expression on your face!
Get that close friend to send you a bouquet of flowers
Nothing will make him more curious than seeing you receive a gift or some flowers! Red roses will make him jealous and curious as to who your admirer is! This is bound to catch his attention and make him long to know if you are already taken.
Don't answer all his calls
Even while you make sure that you motivate him enough to keep pursuing you, make sure that you don't give in too easily. If you want him to become curious about you, keep him hanging and waiting for definite answers. Pretend to be busy, don't answer all his calls and be sweet but keep him at arm's length. This sort of behavior will excite his curiosity and make him even more determined to find out all he can about you.
Have a lot of exciting things to do
Just when he thinks he has you all figured out - show him a new side of your personality. Become like a diamond and display a new facet of your personality that stuns him. This will excite him and make him want to know you intimately.
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Krista_Hiles
The Stages of a Relationship - How Relationships Progress
We are all looking for someone to be with, I think that even the most commitment phobic individual has a part of them that wants it. It can be a nightmare just trying to find someone, and when you have found someone who you hope is right for you, you have to navigate a minefield of feelings and emotion, in order to end up with someone with who you can spend the rest of your days. Whilst the stages of a relationship are relatively simple, how the relationship progresses rarely is.
All relationships begin when you meet someone who strikes a chord with you. Many people regard that moment as the point that they fall in love, sorry to be such a misery but the first stage is not love, it's infatuation. Though In have to admit that falling in love sounds a lot more romantic that falling in infatuation. Infatuation is where you get your first tenuous bond to your potential mate. It's a very loose connection and is there to give you the opportunity to get to know each other better. It might be a tenuous bond, but the passion between you is very intense.
Then you start getting used to each other, the magic fades, and there is no longer the excitement that you once had. This is probably the most crucial of all the stages of a relationship, because this is the point where you discover just how much of a bond you have with each other. If, during the infatuation stage you never really connected then this is the first point at which you could break up with each other. On the other hand, if you still feel something for each other, and you both want to explore that feeling, it gets a little bit more difficult.
While you where in the infatuation stage, you had intense passion driving you on, when that goes, your relationship can feel a bit empty, and you can wonder if there is a way forward. And it is at this point that you see your partner for who they are for the very first time. In the infatuation stage there might have been things about your partner that you were able to ignore, not any more.
When you start to see faults in your partner then there is a possibility that you might try to change them. There are some habits which would do your partner good to break, such as excavating and devouring the contents of their nostrils in public. You could end up making your partner a better person if you just get rid of some of their more cosmetic habits, the problem is can you stop there, or will you try to change who they are. If you succeed in changing who your partner is, then they are no longer the person that you fell in love with, will you still love them? And of course if they resist the change then it will probably push you apart. And don't forget, you could have habits that drive them nuts as well.
So long as you are still speaking to each other you learn how to communicate with each other. You will find out what makes your partner tick, their wants and needs, their hopes and dreams. This is when you start to build a friendship, which if it is allowed to develop will become love. I'm sad to say that far to many couples lose the ability to communicate with each other, the main reason being that they forget what is really important to them. It is worth remembering that a breakdown in communications causes more break-ups and divorces than anything else, so don't stop talking.
If there is enough of a connection between you, you will come to accept your partner for who they are, and you will love them for the unique individual that they are. Your bond of love, friendship and caring will be much deeper, and if you have not reached that stage just yet, you will be approaching the stage of being in a committed relationship. You know that neither of you is perfect, but you accept that. By now you have realised that your partner cannot fulfill all your needs and you are happy to accept what they offer you. By this point you should also have realised that you are responsible for your own happiness.
Finally you reach the stage where you are a couple which is (hopefully) committed to creating the very best relationship that you can. You share each others live, you are each others best friends, and you are each the first person that your partner turns to. You are committed to each other and have a shared vision for the future.
At some point you may or may not have children, just as you may or may not get married. The important thing is that you both move forward together and that you are happy.
The stages of a relationship can be a rocky road, but if it is meant to be it will happen. Whatever you do, do not try to develop a relationship if the basics of friendship and caring are not there. When you move forward you have to move together, both of you have to want this relationship to happen, and both of you have to work to make it happen. You will have problems along the way, and some of them may be serious, but as long as you keep working together then you should keep growing together.http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Finlayson
All relationships begin when you meet someone who strikes a chord with you. Many people regard that moment as the point that they fall in love, sorry to be such a misery but the first stage is not love, it's infatuation. Though In have to admit that falling in love sounds a lot more romantic that falling in infatuation. Infatuation is where you get your first tenuous bond to your potential mate. It's a very loose connection and is there to give you the opportunity to get to know each other better. It might be a tenuous bond, but the passion between you is very intense.
Then you start getting used to each other, the magic fades, and there is no longer the excitement that you once had. This is probably the most crucial of all the stages of a relationship, because this is the point where you discover just how much of a bond you have with each other. If, during the infatuation stage you never really connected then this is the first point at which you could break up with each other. On the other hand, if you still feel something for each other, and you both want to explore that feeling, it gets a little bit more difficult.
While you where in the infatuation stage, you had intense passion driving you on, when that goes, your relationship can feel a bit empty, and you can wonder if there is a way forward. And it is at this point that you see your partner for who they are for the very first time. In the infatuation stage there might have been things about your partner that you were able to ignore, not any more.
When you start to see faults in your partner then there is a possibility that you might try to change them. There are some habits which would do your partner good to break, such as excavating and devouring the contents of their nostrils in public. You could end up making your partner a better person if you just get rid of some of their more cosmetic habits, the problem is can you stop there, or will you try to change who they are. If you succeed in changing who your partner is, then they are no longer the person that you fell in love with, will you still love them? And of course if they resist the change then it will probably push you apart. And don't forget, you could have habits that drive them nuts as well.
So long as you are still speaking to each other you learn how to communicate with each other. You will find out what makes your partner tick, their wants and needs, their hopes and dreams. This is when you start to build a friendship, which if it is allowed to develop will become love. I'm sad to say that far to many couples lose the ability to communicate with each other, the main reason being that they forget what is really important to them. It is worth remembering that a breakdown in communications causes more break-ups and divorces than anything else, so don't stop talking.
If there is enough of a connection between you, you will come to accept your partner for who they are, and you will love them for the unique individual that they are. Your bond of love, friendship and caring will be much deeper, and if you have not reached that stage just yet, you will be approaching the stage of being in a committed relationship. You know that neither of you is perfect, but you accept that. By now you have realised that your partner cannot fulfill all your needs and you are happy to accept what they offer you. By this point you should also have realised that you are responsible for your own happiness.
Finally you reach the stage where you are a couple which is (hopefully) committed to creating the very best relationship that you can. You share each others live, you are each others best friends, and you are each the first person that your partner turns to. You are committed to each other and have a shared vision for the future.
At some point you may or may not have children, just as you may or may not get married. The important thing is that you both move forward together and that you are happy.
The stages of a relationship can be a rocky road, but if it is meant to be it will happen. Whatever you do, do not try to develop a relationship if the basics of friendship and caring are not there. When you move forward you have to move together, both of you have to want this relationship to happen, and both of you have to work to make it happen. You will have problems along the way, and some of them may be serious, but as long as you keep working together then you should keep growing together.http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Finlayson
Topics That Every Engaged Couple Should Discuss
When you're engaged, probably the last thing that thinking about are the topics that every engaged couple really should cover. Quite understandably your focus is on the wedding and that fact that you will spend the rest of your life with your fiancé. It's easy to forget that this is you final opportunity to make sure that everything is right between you and that neither of you have any significant concerns. A wedding is one day, your marriage will be for the rest of your life. This list of topics that I have is by no means exhaustive but it make a fair final checklist of the major issues.
Why are you getting married
If you are getting married it has to be for the right reason otherwise it will not work. You both have to want this because you love and care for each other, and there is no-one on this planet that you would rather share your lives with. You have to be committed to each other and the marriage. You need to be compatible and ideally have some shared interests, and additional something that can help you grow together. Wanting to get married because all your friends are, you are lonely, pregnant, or looking for financial security (to name but a few) are no good reasons.
You might hope that your fiancé is going to change for the better after you get married. If their behaviour shows a lack of respect to you now when you are engaged, then it won't change when you are married, if anything it will get worse.
Shared vision
Make sure that you both have similar ideas as to how your marriage should work and develop. If you both have different expectations that cannot be reconciled then you are in for a bumpy ride to the divorce court.
Are you jealous or an insecure person
Jealous people are typically insecure people, and jealousy can make your marriage a living nightmare. Getting married does not cure jealousy, in fact it probably makes it worse. If your fiancé suffers from jealousy then you need to help them come to terms with it, and deal with it, before you get married and not after.
Can you and do you communicate
I keep saying this, but without communication you have no connection, you have no relationship, and no marriage. You have to be able to talk about your feelings, emotions, fears, problems, hopes and dreams, your wants and needs, if you cannot do that then how can you help and support each other, how can you get to know each other? And just how do you expect to make your marriage to develop and grow if you cannot share your lives like this? In the U.S 67.5% of all divorces cited a breakdown in communication as the driving force behind their divorce. If you can't communicate then don't get married, the divorce attorneys have enough work to handle as it is.
And do you listen
It can be very difficult to really listen to someone. If we're criticized we go on the defensive and we can miss what's being said, otherwise our mind starts thinking about how to reply, and yet again we can miss what's being said. If your fiancé has something to say then you should want to know it, if it is something that is important to them then it is important to you. So focus on your fiancé and listen.
Are you carrying baggage
If you are carrying baggage from previous relationships or marriages, then you need to get closure on all of your issues before you get married! Talk to your fiancé about it to see if they can help. If you get married with the ghosts of pervious failures still haunting you then they poison your marriage, and you could lose out of the chance of happiness.
What about time together
When you have kids this will be even more difficult to find but you have to spend time together enjoying yourselves. Spending quality time together helps to strengthen your bond and to build a treasure-house of shared experiences. It can be something extravagant as a fancy vacation, or it can be as simple as going for a coffee, it doesn't matter what, just so long as you are enjoying your time together.
Your own space
You both have your own lives, your friends and interests, your own way of recharging your batteries. You need to be happy giving each other their own space. Spending time doing your own things is good for the marriage, it helps to develop you as a person, gives you fresh perspectives and ideas, and can give you plenty of gossip to talk about.
What about money
Are you both working or just one of you. Who pays what bills, do you have a joint account or a single account, do you work to a budget, are you managing debts, are you saving for a place of your own or the future. Money can be a seriously contentious issue, so make sure that you know who does what before you say, I do.
A family of your own
At some point it is likely that you will want to have children. You need to have an idea as to when and how many you would like. You also need to decide who stays at home to look after them. In these days of economic uncertainty it's probably best that the highest earning spouse carries on working, and if that's the mother, then could you manage that? Do you already have children maybe already living with you, or living with an ex, how are you going to manage that.
The dreaded In-Laws
Now your in-laws could be really nice people who don't try to interfere in your lives, and then again they might not. They are your fiancé's parents so at some point you are going to have to make contact with them. How much contact are you going to have with your in-laws, will it be once in a while, or will it be a case of, don't they have a home of their own to live in! While you will always be your parents children, you are now husband and wife in your own family unit and before your parents and even your children, your first loyalty is to your spouse.
How do you deal with conflict
Do you have lots of arguments where you shout and scream at each other, blame each other, drag up faults and past arguments, and generally behave like little children have a tantrum? Or, do you behave like adults, who recognizing that they have a problem talk it through and try to deal with it in a way that both of you are happy? If one of you does something that upsets the other do you take responsibility for your actions and apologize? Being human we are all prone to make mistakes, admittedly some are more serious than others, but are you able to forgive their human frailty and move on?
Can you accept
Being in love with someone means being able to accept them for who they are, the good and the bad. Are you able to accept your fiancé for who they are or do you feel compelled to change them into someone who they are not, destroy their individuality, and change them from the person that you fell in love with?
Do you tell them
Each and every day that you have been together have you been able to tell your fiancé how much you love and appreciate them?
There you have it, 14 topics that every engaged couple really should discuss before committing to each other. Your engagement is your final opportunity to make sure that you are compatible with each other. If you are not compatible then don't do it, it's not worth the pain and grief that you will go through, find someone who you can be truly happy with. If you are compatible then I sincerely hope that you live happily ever after.
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Finlayson
Why are you getting married
If you are getting married it has to be for the right reason otherwise it will not work. You both have to want this because you love and care for each other, and there is no-one on this planet that you would rather share your lives with. You have to be committed to each other and the marriage. You need to be compatible and ideally have some shared interests, and additional something that can help you grow together. Wanting to get married because all your friends are, you are lonely, pregnant, or looking for financial security (to name but a few) are no good reasons.
You might hope that your fiancé is going to change for the better after you get married. If their behaviour shows a lack of respect to you now when you are engaged, then it won't change when you are married, if anything it will get worse.
Shared vision
Make sure that you both have similar ideas as to how your marriage should work and develop. If you both have different expectations that cannot be reconciled then you are in for a bumpy ride to the divorce court.
Are you jealous or an insecure person
Jealous people are typically insecure people, and jealousy can make your marriage a living nightmare. Getting married does not cure jealousy, in fact it probably makes it worse. If your fiancé suffers from jealousy then you need to help them come to terms with it, and deal with it, before you get married and not after.
Can you and do you communicate
I keep saying this, but without communication you have no connection, you have no relationship, and no marriage. You have to be able to talk about your feelings, emotions, fears, problems, hopes and dreams, your wants and needs, if you cannot do that then how can you help and support each other, how can you get to know each other? And just how do you expect to make your marriage to develop and grow if you cannot share your lives like this? In the U.S 67.5% of all divorces cited a breakdown in communication as the driving force behind their divorce. If you can't communicate then don't get married, the divorce attorneys have enough work to handle as it is.
And do you listen
It can be very difficult to really listen to someone. If we're criticized we go on the defensive and we can miss what's being said, otherwise our mind starts thinking about how to reply, and yet again we can miss what's being said. If your fiancé has something to say then you should want to know it, if it is something that is important to them then it is important to you. So focus on your fiancé and listen.
Are you carrying baggage
If you are carrying baggage from previous relationships or marriages, then you need to get closure on all of your issues before you get married! Talk to your fiancé about it to see if they can help. If you get married with the ghosts of pervious failures still haunting you then they poison your marriage, and you could lose out of the chance of happiness.
What about time together
When you have kids this will be even more difficult to find but you have to spend time together enjoying yourselves. Spending quality time together helps to strengthen your bond and to build a treasure-house of shared experiences. It can be something extravagant as a fancy vacation, or it can be as simple as going for a coffee, it doesn't matter what, just so long as you are enjoying your time together.
Your own space
You both have your own lives, your friends and interests, your own way of recharging your batteries. You need to be happy giving each other their own space. Spending time doing your own things is good for the marriage, it helps to develop you as a person, gives you fresh perspectives and ideas, and can give you plenty of gossip to talk about.
What about money
Are you both working or just one of you. Who pays what bills, do you have a joint account or a single account, do you work to a budget, are you managing debts, are you saving for a place of your own or the future. Money can be a seriously contentious issue, so make sure that you know who does what before you say, I do.
A family of your own
At some point it is likely that you will want to have children. You need to have an idea as to when and how many you would like. You also need to decide who stays at home to look after them. In these days of economic uncertainty it's probably best that the highest earning spouse carries on working, and if that's the mother, then could you manage that? Do you already have children maybe already living with you, or living with an ex, how are you going to manage that.
The dreaded In-Laws
Now your in-laws could be really nice people who don't try to interfere in your lives, and then again they might not. They are your fiancé's parents so at some point you are going to have to make contact with them. How much contact are you going to have with your in-laws, will it be once in a while, or will it be a case of, don't they have a home of their own to live in! While you will always be your parents children, you are now husband and wife in your own family unit and before your parents and even your children, your first loyalty is to your spouse.
How do you deal with conflict
Do you have lots of arguments where you shout and scream at each other, blame each other, drag up faults and past arguments, and generally behave like little children have a tantrum? Or, do you behave like adults, who recognizing that they have a problem talk it through and try to deal with it in a way that both of you are happy? If one of you does something that upsets the other do you take responsibility for your actions and apologize? Being human we are all prone to make mistakes, admittedly some are more serious than others, but are you able to forgive their human frailty and move on?
Can you accept
Being in love with someone means being able to accept them for who they are, the good and the bad. Are you able to accept your fiancé for who they are or do you feel compelled to change them into someone who they are not, destroy their individuality, and change them from the person that you fell in love with?
Do you tell them
Each and every day that you have been together have you been able to tell your fiancé how much you love and appreciate them?
There you have it, 14 topics that every engaged couple really should discuss before committing to each other. Your engagement is your final opportunity to make sure that you are compatible with each other. If you are not compatible then don't do it, it's not worth the pain and grief that you will go through, find someone who you can be truly happy with. If you are compatible then I sincerely hope that you live happily ever after.
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Finlayson
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